Fear is a Distraction

I've been struggling with anxiety a lot lately. I've also been praying about it a lot. During the day it strikes, I pray, and then I quickly distract myself with something else so that I don't have to think about it anymore. (Can we say YouTube videos of goats yelling like humans? Perfect distraction.)

That worked for a little while. But then night time would come, and the anxiety would come rushing back in and I would pray again. Because I'm in bed when this happens, there's no way I can distract myself. Everyone else is sleeping peacefully, and here I am stuck dealing with these fears all alone.

This has gone on for two weeks. I'm exhausted and cranky. I'm also frustrated.  So tonight, when another wave hit me right before class, I decided to change my prayer. This time, I asked God a question .

"God," I said. "Why can't I trust you?"

An awkward moment of silence passed while I processed what I had just said.  Then I thought, ya know, I think I'll just put a pin in this conversation and go to class. Class is a great distraction. That'll work.

Wrong.  I couldn't focus in class. So I asked God that same question again.  He said, "You can't trust me because you haven't asked me to help you trust me."

*whistles*

"What do you mean I haven't asked you?! I pray all the time!"

"But you haven't asked me to increase your faith."

Whoa. Wait a minute. He's right. I've prayed and asked Him to make this better. I've asked my friends to pray for our faith in this situation. I've even sang songs about trusting in Him. But I had yet to ask God to increase my faith. I had yet to ask Him to help me with my unbelief.  How I could forget something so basic?

I can tell you why. Distractions. I sought out ways to keep myself from really having that conversation with God. I also let fear distract me. No more. It's time to recognize where that fear comes from, and not let it take over anymore. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Power, love and a sound mind. That sounds way better than anxiety and fear. 

Lord, I need you. I need you to increase my faith just enough so that I can trust in you. Even though I cannot see what you have planned for me, I believe in your Word and your promises. Thank you for bringing me through this. Amen.

Melanie

Peace

This has been a really difficult year for my family. We've been hurt, discouraged and shell-shocked at some of what we've been through. I know the bigger picture of where we want to be. I know how much it takes to recover financially, and what needs to happen to heal spiritually. But the big picture is overwhelming. I get tired just thinking about everything that we have on our plates.

So I've decided to change my mindset. I'm just going to take it a day at a time. I want to start each day in prayer and give it my best. Will there still be struggles? Of course. I'm not naive enough to think this is a cure all. But by facing each day head on, I'm slowly chipping away at the bigger picture. I'm one step closer. And through God, I can not only succeed, but I can overcome all of it.

A friend said this the other day and it really spoke to me... "My Lord, don't move my mountain, but give me the strength to climb. And Lord don't take away my stumbling blocks, but lead me all around." This is my prayer right now: Don't fix this for me, but help me get through it. Let me learn from it, but also remind me of where my help comes from.

No matter how big the problem is or how alone I may feel at times, I know that God is with me. He brings me peace. He brings me strength. He brings me joy. With this kind of support, life is not so overwhelming after all.

Melanie

A Tainted Nation

There's an epidemic brewing in America. Its undercurrents can be felt with every news story and Facebook post involving race. We are tainted with hatred, and it's fueled by fear. Fear of a culture different from our own. Fear of another religion. Fear of a people in poverty. Fear of people in power. Everywhere you look, you will find fear at the root of racism and prejudice. Where does it come from? How can it possibly prevail after so many movements to free those oppressed by it?

It comes from us. You. Me. All of us. It comes from the media, when they use race and social status to describe a criminal or their victim. It comes from politics, when a new bill is passed that targets a specific gender, class, or faith. It comes from the generation before us, who passed along fear based on their experiences. It comes from us. As we react to the different types of hate that we witness every day, we pass along a message to our children.

What does our message look like? What are we saying to the next generation when we rail against someone of a different color? What are we saying when we let the media use a tragedy to pit us against each other? What are we saying when we refuse to let people of all colors or faith express patriotism in our country? We're saying that we aren't really free. We are bound by chains of ignorance, bias, and fear. 

Don't believe me? Read the news stories. Read the comments. Be honest, and ask yourself if any of that sounds like the rumblings of a free people. Each story only deepens the racial divide. It enslaves us inside of our closed minds. There is no unity. There is no peace. There is only the sound of a hurting nation; tainted and trapped.

Pray for our country. Think before you speak (or type). Know the facts before jumping to conclusions. Open your heart. Open your mind. Let's face fear head-on and break the chains that hold us prisoner. Let us be bound together instead with understanding, compassion, and a genuine love for our fellow man. 

~Melanie

Please keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times...

Hello! Welcome, and thank you for visiting my little blog! My name is Melanie, and I live in good old Southern Maryland. I am a full-time student, pursuing a degree in Early Childhood Development. I am happily married to Sailor man, who has been in the Navy for 11 years. We have two adorable munchkins. Little dude is 6 years old, and Tinkerbell turns 5 later this month.

I've started blogging because it's a good outlet for me. I enjoy writing, and I like to share certain parts of my life with other people. So this will be a mix of stories from our house, random and funny observations on life, food, my faith, and whatever else just happens to come to mind.

Please feel free to comment on my posts. I enjoy the interaction and will do my best to respond. Link up to your blog, if you have one. You follow me, and I'll follow you. All I ask is that we remain respectful of each others beliefs and opinions, even if we strongly disagree with each other.

So if you're up for it, strap in, sit back and enjoy the ride!

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